Out with the old
Updated: Feb 4
Out with the old, in with the new.
My Spiritual reawakening came as a result of the trauma surrounding my divorce in 2013.
On January 22nd 2013 my life was thrown into turmoil in an instant, when I woke to find a note to inform me that my now ex, was leaving me after 40 years of life together.
At the age of 60, the reality for me was that my life was over, as far as hopes and dreams were concerned. Everything that we had planned for our retirement was cancelled instantly, with a 50% loss and no refund.
I was lost, left completely without direction or purpose. I moved on quickly, more out of desperation and in search of companionship, perhaps a crumb of comfort more than anything else. I consciously reinvented myself, and braced myself to face this new world that lay before me, with a brave heart, as always, worn on my sleeve.
What or who would I find out there? Undaunted, and with a belief that from every ending, as one door closes (or is slammed in your face) another door leading to new beginnings opens. However, when a very close and dear friend of mine died shortly after, it seemed to me at that time that my world was imploding. A friendship with that friends now ex girlfriend began with her need for emotional support and my desire to help her in that respect, however I could. We spoke about our situations, with me not quite decided on what to do with my life, and her intentions to sell her place in Spain and move to France. We had both suffered a huge trauma and, I guess, found comfort in our joint time of need?
I had given up my flat in Spain the previous year and, at that time, I still lived in our marital & family home in the south of England. Within weeks of our first exchanges, we arranged to meet up, to see if we had a connection, a physical attraction and, who knows... a possible future together.
We met as planned and from that point on we made a commitment to each other in terms of a relationship and our combined desire to buy a property in France together to serve as our new home. Everything was moving at lightning speed and on the 28th January 2014, a few days over the year since "the letter", we moved in to our home in SW France.
Life was good, living in France, just as my ex and I had planned to do upon retirement. Although not all was quite what it had seemed to be. In mid 2015, I had no choice but to draw a close on this still new, but very toxic relationship. I will spare you the gory details, but suffice to say despite the difficulty that lay ahead, I had to cut all connections with her and try to pick up the pieces of the mess that it created.
I will skip gently over the following 5 years that brought me to this point, but suffice to say, there were several more relationships in that period that brought me a mixed bag of fortunes. including another narcissist, a twin flame (runner) a perfectly fine relationship that went wrong because of meaningless egoic clashes and a deep soul connection with another who was and still remains a very damaged yet beautiful soul who taught me that not everyone can be saved from their damaged, yet still beautiful soul. The end result of these failed relationships was that I was now armed with all that I needed to experience, in order to grow spiritually.
Over these past 8 years in total, having been put through the mixer, the shredder and the blender, I feel that right now, in December 2020, I am fully equipped in preparation for the door that opened for me to enter into 5D bliss. From where I was, to where I am right now, now seems a lifetime ago. In all, the suffering and anguish that I have experienced since arriving in France, has been almost unbearable at times, and completely unbearable at all times other than those!
I have been on the very brink of the precipice on several occasions, and yet, in every instance I somehow managed to take a step back from the abyss. The vortex of depression had beckoned me in invitingly on occasions, but I knew this well. My lessons on depression had been learned long ago, and I knew that what didn't defeat me, would make me stronger... its an all too often spoken cliché, but nonetheless very apt and true...
The knowledge that I now possessed the strength required to emerge still stronger was the essential catalyst to draw that strength from. It is a strength within that is entirely self-generated, and once out of the mire, the lessons that we learn are actually very important for spiritual growth.
In the end, our seemingly most horrific experiences at the time, are those that teach us the most valuable lessons. It is those lessons that shape our souls to become exactly what they are supposed to become, in order to grow and fulfil our intended soul path.
At the time of writing, I am blissfully aware that I was blessed to have found the most exciting and beautiful soul connection in my life, by far, and almost certainly in the previous 6 lives too.
Nicky & myself know that what we now have and share is completely authentic and that, my friends, I assure you, is truly blissful.