• carpvine

Post trauma Spiritual Awakening

Updated: Dec 9, 2020



There can be very little doubt that for every action there is a reaction. That being the case, the severest impacted action will almost certainly create the most significant reaction.


When the soul is impacted with trauma, it reacts in two ways. Either the soul is caused to react to the pain or problem negatively, or react to it positively.


As an energy worker, I see this very clearly in both respects. Negatively impacted souls are often at risk of "retreating", going into deep retrospection that can severely supress their spiritual growth and, if not rectified, bring about grave mistrust of everything external. This negative response of the soul can, at times, damage the soul forever in a manner that if further negative responses occur, the soul may never recover. I see this frequently in my work, and although I am able to help in some instances, it's more often than not a case where the soul cannot, or does not want to rise... it feels "safe" where it is.


There is one thing that we always need to bear in mind, though, and that is that every aspect, of every aspect in life, exists on a spectrum. Fortunately, the majority of souls do ascend spiritually and, as I have discovered personally, this ascension can happen very rapidly as a whole new vista, if not world, is activated.


For me, within just weeks of the trauma of the door being closed on my long marriage, my introspection was complete, and my soul, although not healed, understood that it must continue its journey. I discovered a nearby shop called souls journey 11.11 almost immediately afterwards, which I took to be a sign, and I was instantly connected with Jane, the owner, who greeted me with glee. From there, there was no looking back, my soul was vibrating excitedly and this kicked started my spiritual journey as it was destined to be.


My interest in stones, fossils and crystals had emerged in early life, but now, the inspiration I had previously found, included stone and crystal wrapping. Jane had been interested in the things that I wore, and we spoke at length about the jewellery I made. Not long after that, I was invited to place some in the shop on a sale or return basis. They attracted a good deal of interest, to my surprise, and that was a wonderful validation.


I enlisted for all of the classes held at the shop after closing times, for a whole host of things such as Tarot reading (with Paula), Reiki (with Jane), crystal healing (with Jane) and many other things, including shamanic drumming circles, pagan ceremonies et al. Of course, the many spiritual people who were also drawn to these aspects became good friends, and several were vital to the direction of my souls journey (Very apt, considering the name of Janes shop).


When I made the move to live in France, in January 2014 with a new partner, it saddened me to be leaving all of that behind, but I also knew that my souls journey purpose was to be living in France, even though I never knew why, France was where my soul knew it had to be. For over 30 years, I had regularly travelled to France for holidays and, in all of that time, on average 3 trips per year but as many as 5 or 6, the immense pleasure each trip brought to us never lost its appeal... in fact, the sense of "belonging" grew ever more strongly to the point where, upon returning to England, a burning sense of "homesickness for France" had developed deep in my soul, and upon returning to France on subsequent occasions, it engendered the unmistakable sense of joy, when finally "going home".


I will never forget that first day when, on arrival we entered our new home, deep in the beautiful Charente countryside. The timing of the sale of my marital home had meant that there was not the possibility to go house-hunting in France, there just wasn't time enough to allow that, as I had a huge amount to do clearing out my old home in readiness for the looming key exchange. Instead, with just weeks to go before moving out with nowhere yet set to go, something quite miraculous happened.


Myself and new partner at that time had been frantically searching online, first for properties to buy, and then as time passed without success, for properties with a rent to buy clause, as this was our now our very much needed option, due to the constraints we faced. With just one month to go before the requirement to vacate my old home, quite literally on the 11th hour of the 11th of December I found what we had been looking for... a seemingly perfect option for us!


I didn't wish to disturb my partner, who had gone to bed in tears earlier, borne of the frustration and a sweeping sense of hopelessness that we both felt, so I hurriedly wrote down the phone number and name associated with the advert and went to bed myself, elated that I had probably found our home! The following morning, I leapt out of bed at first light and hurriedly fired up my PC.


To my horror, the advert on Anglo-info had been removed! My heart sunk at the thought that it had been sold or rented and I fully accepted that a deal must have been struck. It was set at a very good price and was extremely good value for the money being asked, so I had no reason to remain hopeful, other than the burning belief that it was destined to belong to us. A few minutes later I decided to enquire what the situation was, and tentatively phoned the number I had scribbled down just a few hours earlier. After a brief introduction, I sheepishly enquired about the status of the property and was totally blown away by the answer.


I was told that they had removed the advert because it had been put up out of frustration and a desire to sell it as quickly as possible. They had in fact created the advert with a huge reduction of 45% below the previous asking price, but then took the advert down to reassess the new asking price! It was still for sale!! I explained my situation, and that I would agree to the price that I had seen, but couldn't afford more than that. I informed him of my moving date, the 28th of January, and that I needed to send one van load of belongings over prior to that, and arrive on the 28th with a further delivery a day after, on the 29th... the prior rental period was agreed to include rent up until the purchase was completed with the Notaires office... The deal was done, there and then!!


Everything went like an incredible dream in every respect. My house in UK was sold and the money from both my new partners sale of her property in Spain, and the money from my sale was in our accounts with the first few weeks of February! Arriving on the 28th with a car and trailer packed to the gunwales with our essentials, we parked outside of our new home to be shown around by the vendors. Entrance to the property is via the large kitchen diner, and a much welcomed cup of tea was gratefully imbibed before the tour commenced.


From the photos they provided and the descriptions they gave, it was difficult to ascertain how one transitioned from the kitchen into the lounge, but we were assured that it was internal, not external, which was enough to allay our concerns. As we supped our tea in the kitchen, the internal door to the lounge was closed, and the view obscured by the door, but when the time arrived to pass through that door and climb the 5 steps up into the lounge, the slow reveal and splendour of the room was magical!


The very first thing that appeared above the banister as we climbed the steps was the amazing full height ceiling - it was a barn conversion with huge and beautiful oak beams! The 2' thick stone walls had been coated with "crepe" to leave just a few large stones showing through the white walls, and as I stood there in awe, drinking in the wonderful ambience, tears of joy trailed unstoppably down my cheeks. I will never forget that highly emotional moment.


It took us weeks to unpack, install and arrange our things in the house how we wanted it, before we could even think about retrieving my partners belongings from storage in Spain. But once had settled, the following month, life itself began to transition into a more sedate and peaceful place. I remember being quite surprised by the weather in February. We had been told that February was the coldest month by some margin, even down to minus 18, some years! So when it turned out to be a warm month, with February the 28th being 20C, I was astonished to feel that wonderful warmth from the sun so early in the year.


Exactly 3 months after our arrival, on the 28th of March 2014 we arrived at the Notaires office to sign the paperwork for the house, our house! I cant even begin to tell you how wonderful that felt! The synchronicity of our arrival date, the date of that wonderfully warm February day and the signing of paperwork to buy our house, all being on the 28th, was surely positive validation that all was well.


However, within months, cracks were beginning to appear in our relationship. There were aspects revealing themselves that I tried to overlook, such as the announcement, without communication, that she wanted a lift to the airport in the morning. She had arranged to go to England to stay with one of her sons for two weeks to look after his children, her grandchildren without bothering to run it by me. I wouldn't have objected, of course, but it did cause me to wonder. Soon after, more questionable traits emerged.


Whenever we met anyone, she would introduce herself first, then me as "Steve, my dead boyfriends best friend". Now, I understood that she was still healing from the loss and despite my mild concern, I chose to overlook it. Even though, I did think it rather odd that she would do that. On a good number of occasions following, this same introduction happened. Again without any reaction from me, but a few months further on into the year, it did represent a small problem for me, in that I could visibly see the look of confusion on the faces of those she introduced me to in that manner. It was embarrassing, to be honest. but I never did question her for that.


As the months passed, other, much more concerning traits were revealed. These helped me to further understand exactly what I was confronted with. Her ability to demolish a 5ltr box of wine in just one evening, and becoming increasingly unpleasant in the process, was a major problem. Not because she was drunk, but the way it impacted on our relationship. Her aggression, both towards me and my dog, was totally off the scale and uncalled for, worse still, it became increasingly more frequent. Screaming abuse had by now, become her norm, and I was placed in the situation where I had to attempt to pacify her. Invariably, according to her, I was to blame for her behaviour, and it would be my duty to apologise to her, which I did on many occasions, until the penny finally dropped.


There were many other things of an even more serious nature than these previously mentioned, but I choose not to reveal those factors and allow the reader to judge them. Suffice to say, by April-May of 2015, I had no alternative but to bring an end to our relationship, even with the certain knowledge of the continued aggression via maintaining the necessary contact, involving many more of her circular arguments - you will no doubt get the picture! Finally, in 2020, I was in the position to buy her out of my house and my life forever, and not a moment too soon!



















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